Who's the Bigger Hater, Them or You?

You are GORGEOUS. Unfortunately, the person most likely to refute that is you.

                                                                    

I saw a McDonald’s commercial the other day where one of the black actresses sported a mass of natural curls as she sipped on a McCafe frappe. Or ate a fry. Whatever. And she hasn’t been the first black curly girl that I’ve seen on commercials.  It seems that market execs are finally catching on to the fact that people want to buy what other people that look like them are buying. That includes girls with curls. Douy. But you know the sad thing? Even when watching these commercials and seeing beautiful women like Kim Coles, Raven Simone, and Esperanza Spalding wear their natural hair I can’t help but think, “So, when will a natural-haired girl be a sex symbol? When will she play a love interest in a movie? Or tv show? Hell, even a commercial?? (I’ve yet to see that angle.)

In an interview with Kim Coles, she mentioned that the reason why straight hair is so popular on movie sets is because it’s so easy to replicate. Straight hair is more predictable than curly hair, and when you have to shoot the same scene 8 or 9 times, hair is the last thing that you want to be worrying about. Many actresses opt for relaxers, weaves, and lace-fronts (the good ones, not the ones you see at the corner store with the SUPER full hairline) for this reason. And I get that.

And people are starting to catch on, even outside of the world of marketing.  Legal dramedy  Franklin & Bash has, as should be expected, only two females as a part of their staple cast, both black, both beautiful.  And Garcelle Beauvais, sort of the Mariska Hargitay of the show, sports a wavy/curly mane that captivates her male co-stars every few episodes. It’s a step that I can appreciate. But even with all this, at times I’m watching Nickelodeon (for research, of course) or a favorite program and notice that the brown curly girl ends up with the short end of the stick, playing some role probably named customer #3, or random student #18, but never the pretty girl that makes time slow down and wind machines blow. And then I end up yelling at the TV, or muttering something smart under my breath because I once again realize that American beauty standards have a long way to go.

It wasn’t until this week that I realized that I was so sensitive to things like this because I hadn’t fully accepted the beauty of my curls yet. In the end, it has little to do with the world. How many skinny, straight-haired, and commercially beautiful girls out there still don’t feel beautiful?  How many commercially ostracized "big girls" do? This isn’t about the Hollywood! Yesterday curves were out. Today they’re in.  Everyone is rocking straight hair today. Tomorrow it’s all about texture. Fashions change! Beauty standards change! But do you know what’s ALWAYS in? Self-confidence.

Corny huh? Let’s see it in action. I used to LOVE the Hills (shh, it’s a secret). I always thought that Heidi Montag was so GORGEOUS. She had a great shape, beautiful features, and silky hair. From what I could tell, lots of people shared my same sentiments. Everyone apparently, except her, who’s now been pulled, tucked, and molded more than Play-Doh in a kindergarten classroom. Megan Fox seems to be going down the same path, and don’t even get me started on Lil Kim.

Now let’s look at Queen Latifah. Unconventionally beautiful. People didn’t want to accept it at first, but now she’s a Cover girl and has been listed in more than one Most Beautiful People list. I think about Raven Simone too, who has always been proud to rock her own brand of beautiful, referred to as “delectable” here   by Vlad TV. Now, who’s going to tell her that she isn’t? I think that she can look forward to a long career in Hollywood, seeing as she’s sexy, funny, AND confident…who doesn’t love that? And Ellen DeGeneres, one of the most ungirly personalities in Hollywood, is celebrated for her beautiful face, strength, her ability to accept herself even when no one else was on her side.

When you accept your own unique beauty, other people will have no choice but to love it too! And forget the ones who don’t. Haters are so last season.